Chapter Text
"There you are."
Alethya closed the doors to the War Room and walked up to the War Table, where Cullen stood. He had been looking over troop movements when she had walked in. She smiled at him, "Were you waiting for me?"
"Yes- I mean, no!" Cullen stumbled over his words.
Alethya giggled lightly, "I can come back if you aren't looking for company."
"No, please stay," Cullen breathed, reaching his hand out as if he could cross the table and grab her. He then retracted it, scratching the back of his head, "We have some dealings in Ferelden."
He rounded the table to her. His mannerisms were like how they were before they spent that night in good company. Alethya smiled, watching how his cheeks were blushing and his eyes averting hers. He continued, "I... was hoping you'd accompany me. When you can spare the time."
Alethya leaned onto the table, and she plucked the last pin from it, "It seems to me that there aren't any more missions or requests for me here. I think I can spare the time."
"Really?- I mean, that would be wonderful," Cullen smiled.
Alethya walked up to him, fixing his mantle, "You don't have to speak formally to ask me to come with you to run some errands."
"We'll be gone for quite some time on Inquisition business, it just felt proper."
"I'd love to go with you Cullen," Alethya smiled, "I haven't had free time in months. Even if it is on business, it'll still be nice. And if anything happens while we are absent, then any of our friends can handle it."
"You're right," Cullen let a breath out. He then smiled, "Some travel would do us some good."
~•~•~•~•~•
It was still dark the morning Alethya and Cullen left for Redcliffe. They set out on horseback, with a small troop of soldiers and wagons. Cullen looked as if he had been up for hours, while Alethya yawned. Cullen looked at her, amused, "I thought our Inquisitor would be used to early rising."
"I let the sun wake me up," she mumbled, shivering despite the layers of fur she had on over her armor.
Cullen shifted in the seat of his saddle, chuckling lightly, "Hopefully it won't kill you."
"You know me, Commander. You could drop a dragon on me and I would live," Alethya smiled before yawning again.
The day passed by quickly. By the time the sun set, the caravan had reached the foot of the mountain, where they made camp in a wooded area. Cullen finished setting up his and Alethya's tent and looked around for her. She wasn't around the campfire or the horses. He frowned, walking around the perimeter.
He found her sitting on a boulder near a small cliff that viewed over the forest they were in, with the Hinterlands in the distance. She wasn't looking in that direction, though, but towards Haven. Cullen softly walked toward her, "There you are."
She turned her head enough to look at Cullen before turning back around, "It's going to be a clear night."
Cullen sat beside her on the rock. She was only wearing a light fur coat, not as much as she wore that morning. Her armor glinted in the dying sunlight, with her hair braided behind her. Cullen looked in the direction she was looking, "Is something on your mind?"
"I just always feel... guilty, or sad when I come around the Hinterlands. I think of Haven and the lives we lost. I know it wasn't my fault but... I tried to save as many as I could."
Cullen was silent for a moment, letting Alethya grieve over the loss of those at Haven. With how busy they've been, they haven't been able to feel anything about recent events. They only lived in the present. But traveling out to missions, especially in such a small company, allowed them to reflect.
Cullen placed a hand on Alethya's back, "None of it is your fault, but I understand."
"It's just," he heard her sniffle, "Those people were looking to me for safety. And they..."
Alethya began to cry. Cullen brought his arms around her, embracing her tightly. He felt her shoulders shake with her sobs. Her hands were against his chest, and Cullen placed his chin atop her head. He let her cry. He knew she needed to let it out.
After a few minutes, Alethya's cries became soft sniffles. Cullen rubbed her back, rocking her slightly. The sun was nearly gone by this time, casting the world in a shadow lit up only by the stars and moon. Cullen looked up and smiled, "It's going to be beautiful tonight."
Alethya pushed herself back enough to be able to peer up at him. She sniffled and then stared at the sky, "It will be."
~•~•~•~•~•
"So where exactly are we going?"
It was day three of traveling to the Hinterlands, and no mention of where exactly they were heading other than Redcliffe. Alethya was enjoying their leisure ride through the countryside, feeling as if she were back with her clan. She had genuinely forgotten why they were headed down the mountain.
"We're meeting with the Arl of Redcliffe about Crestview's occupation. It seems he has some worry, so we're reassuring him that it's not permanent and that we're helping secure trade routes and keeping watch for Corypheus and Red Templars," answered Cullen.
Alethya rolled her shoulders back. Being on horseback for so long did numbers on her muscles. Cullen saw this and suggested, "Would you like to rest for a moment? We've been traveling since dark and I think we have time to stop and have lunch."
Alethya nodded, "I think it'd be best. I don't want our soldiers to get too tired."
A small fire was quickly made, thanks to Alethya's magic, and the group sat for lunch. Alethya took the time to wander the area. She rarely got to get in touch with nature, as she had before. She walked farther into the woods, making sure to remember trail markers for her return.
She came upon a small babbling brook that cut through the woods with rocks carrying it downstream. Along the banks were lilies, with petals as white as snow. Alethya knelt down, brushing her fingers along the petals. She turned her head when she heard twigs snap behind her.
"Admiring the flora?" Cullen asked as he knelt beside her.
She smiled softly, retracting her touch, "This is the first time I've been able to in a while. I've never traveled so leisurely since the Inquisition started."
"This is more of a diplomatic mission. Josephine would have gone herself, but I grew up not far from here," Cullen spoke, "And I know you don't get to admire nature at Skyhold as much as you used to."
"There's nature there. Just a lot of snow," Alethya spoke, "You were from Honnleath, right?"
Cullen nodded, "Small village, can't even find it on a map."
"My clan traveled near there once. We stopped for a moment, it was just a land marker for us."
"You aren't missing much. We'll actually be passing through some time tonight."
Alethya looked at Cullen again, "Really? I'd love to see where you grew up."
Cullen smiled at her, "It's the reason I asked for your presence on this trip."
"Really? I thought you would need the Inquisitor for your diplomatic talks," she teased.
Cullen chuckled, "That too."
He picked a flower from the creek side. He twirled the stem between his thumb and index finger, before handing it to Alethya. She smiled, taking the flower gently. Cullen placed a hand to her cheek and guided her face to him, "I can't wait for you to see it."
He kissed her gently, warming the two.
~•~•~•~•~•
The caravan had stopped near the outskirts of Honnleath. Tents had been set up, and a fire going with dinner cooking. The soldiers talked, laughing as stories were told. Alethya sat with them, talking amongst them, and listening. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up to see Cullen smiling down at her.
"May I steal the Her Worship for a moment?"
Alethya smiled and stood, "Of course."
He put a hand on the small of her back, guiding her to a less traveled path. There was a silence between them, a comfortable one. Crickets chirped, an owl hooting in the distance. Dirt and gravel crunched beneath their feet.
Soon, water was heard trickling as they rounded a corner. The path opened widely, with mountains surrounding them. A lake was in the middle, with a dock out over the water. They walked onto the wooden platform, their footsteps echoing.
Alethya looked around, "I was expecting a childhood home. Where are we?"
"That will be next," Cullen spoke, "You walk into danger every day. I wanted to take you away from that, if only for a moment. This place was always quiet."
"This is why you asked me to come," Alethya smiled, "No diplomatic talks with the Arl of Redcliffe?"
Cullen chuckled, "I felt if I didn't have a reason, you wouldn't have come."
"I would have. I'd like to know more about your past life," Alethya leaned against one of the poles along the dock. Cullen did the same.
She looked out over the water, "Did you come here often?"
"I loved my siblings, but they were very loud. I would come here to clear my head. Of course, they always found me eventually."
"You were happy here."
"I was. I still am," he paused for a moment before speaking again, "The last time I was here was the day I left for Templar training. My brother gave me this."
He reached into a pocket and pulled a coin out. He held it in the palm of his hand, "It just happened to be in his pocket, but he said it was for luck. Templars are not supposed to carry such things. Our faith should see us through."
"You're telling me thatyoubroke the Order's rules?" Alethya looked bewildered.
Cullen poured but had a playful tone, "Until a year ago I was very good at following them. Most of the time."
He looked back at the coin, "This was the only thing I took from Ferelden that the Templars didn't give me."
He pushed himself off the pole, moving towards Alethya and taking her hand, "Humor me. We don't know what you'll face before the end. This can't hurt."
He had placed the coin in the palm of her hand. She looked at it, "Cullen, I can't take this. If it's worked so far, you should keep it."
Cullen brought her closer, putting a hand on her back. He kissed the top of her head, "You see more battle than I do. I want you safe."
She looked up at him and whispered, "I'll keep it safe then."
"Good," he smiled, "I know it's foolish, but... I'm glad."
They stayed together for some time, before separating. The sound of the water was calming, with the occasional sound from animals. Cullen took a deep breath, "I feel I should also explain what happened in Kinloch Hold."
Alethya put a hand on his arm, "If it makes you uncomfortable, we don't need to speak of it."
"I want you to know," he breathed.
She looked into his eyes and found deep trust for her within. She nodded, speaking quietly, "Alright."
Cullen nodded and turned his back to her, "Shortly after the Blight began, a mage by the name of Uldred tried to rally the mages to support Loghain. Another mage found out that Loghain betrayed King Cailhan and called out against him. After that, Uldred attacked the circle. When he attacked, mages that hid their blood magic did as well."
"Many of the Templars were locked in a magic prison. I was one of them. My brothers were slowly broken, taken into the Harrowing chamber where Uldred was. I was the only one left. Blood mages would use magic to sift through my thoughts, desire demons to... tempt me. I fought against it."
"When the Hero of Ferelden, Warden Surana, made it, I was a shell of what I was. I was held there for days, with no food or water. My mind was constantly tapped into, images of my temptation flashing before my eyes. When I saw her... I regret the things I said to her. Still, she freed me, freed the Circle. At that point, I thought all mages were evil. That they only wanted power and that they needed to be controlled. I couldn't stand to be in that tower another second."
"When I was given the chance to go to Kirkwall, I took it. I spent almost the next decade there. The Templars were much harsher to their wards. I was as well. Mages were made tranquil at the slightest disagreement. Many were paranoid of blood mages, as was I. Apostates were never saved, always killed. It wasn't until I saw my Knight-Commander be driven insane that something in me finally snapped and I realized what I was doing was wrong. That the Templar order was out of line and it needed to be fixed. That's when Cassandra reached out to me about the Inquisition, and I met you."
Alethya stood silent, letting his words sink into her. He waited for her patiently, his eyes soft and vulnerable. He just told her that he had mage’s blood on his hands. Alethya looked out at the water. The waves hit the stilts of the dock gently. Ripples from fish hidden beneath the surface ran across the otherwise peaceful water.
"Has me being a mage ever concerned you?"
Cullen shook his head, "No. Magic terrified me before, even though I had its raw form pumping through my veins. When I first saw you, back at the Temple, I only saw you. Not a mage, just you. Something about you compelled me at that moment. I'm glad the Maker put you in my path."
Alethya smiled, "You flatterer."
He put a hand on the small of her back and pulled her closer to him, "Only for you,Ma vhenan."
He placed a hand on her cheek and kissed her gently. Alethya put her hands on his chest leaning further into him. He wrapped his arms around her back, the warmth of her seeping through his armor and into his bones. He could stay like this forever, with the sound of the water, the animals, and the cool air that washed over them.
They slowly pulled away from each other. Cullen grabbed her hand with one of his, "Come, I want to show you my home now. Well, childhood home.
"You've had this planned," Alethya smiled as he began to lead them away.
Cullen chuckled, "I wanted to do something for you, but I hadn't the chance. When Josephine told me about this diplomatic mission, I took the opportunity."
"All for little ol' me?" she teased.
He looked at her, "For someone important to me."
Alethya blushed, looking down at the ground, "You're important to me, too."
He kissed her knuckles, "I know.
After a five-minute walk, they came upon an older farmhouse. The land around had not been tended to for some time, with the fences dilapidated and the old barn falling to ruin. The house had seen better days, but it still looked livable. They walked up the overgrown path.
"So this is where you grew up?" asked Alethya. It looked… familiar.
Cullen nodded, "Until I was 13."
"You said your siblings left after the Blight. What about your parents?"
He took a moment before replying, "They... died. Darkspawn."
"Cullen," she stopped them, "I'm so sorry. If you don't want to-"
He smiled solemnly, "It wasn't here. They were selling some of their produce down south. A horde of darkspawn came through. I got a letter from my sister Mia."
"Speaking of siblings, have you heard from them since they moved?" questioned Alethya.
"A few times. Mia would try to write often, but when I was a Templar, I pretty much ignored them. I... wrote her not too long ago, letting her know I was okay. I got a letter back quickly and, Maker, did I get an earful. From aletter."
Alethya giggled, "Really?"
"I had told her I survived Haven. Well, just told her I was alive. A very short letter. She wrote back how they thought I was dead, that she was glad I left the Order. Since, I've been in constant contact," Cullen smiled, "If she didn't have a life in South Reach, she would have marched up to Skyhold just to scold me."
"You're very lucky to have her for a sister."
"That I am," Cullen agreed. They reached the door to the house. Cullen opened the door gently. With a creak, the door swung open to reveal an unexpected sight.
The house was much cleaner than one would expect from an abandoned farmhouse. It was still dusty but from only a few months instead of years. It opened into a large living space with seats set around a fireplace and a kitchen off to the side. In the back were two rooms, one with a large bed and one with four smaller ones.
Alethya walked in, looking around, "This feels surreal."
Cullen chuckled, "How so?"
Alethya answered, "Do you remember when I told you my clan traveled near Honnleath?"
"Of course," he walked in closer.
"I remember seeing this little farm on the outskirts of the town. I watched as kids played outside, and how I wished to join them," she looked at him.
Cullen furrowed his eyebrows for a second and then raised them as he came closer, "You... you were the girl I saw that day. My siblings called me crazy when I told them I saw an elvish girl in the forest. It was such a forgotten memory."
Alethya smiled, "I can't believe I'm walking into the home I saw all those years ago. It truly is a small world."
"It is," he held her chin with his index finger and thumb, tilting her head up before kissing her softly, sparks lighting in both of their chests.
Alethya melted into him, placing her arms around his neck to be even closer. Cullen put his other arm around her back, holding her tightly. Something in him felt complete as if a lost piece of a puzzle was put back in place. He had sensed there was something familiar about her when he first saw Alethya. A lost childhood memory of a girl he never saw again, until the explosion at the temple.
They pulled apart slowly. Alethya looked up at him softly, a sweet smile on her lips. She grabbed his hand and led him to the fireplace. Kneeling at the hearth, she conjured a small flame at the tip of her finger and lit the slightly charred wood. The space around them heated and Cullen sat on the floor. Alethya scooted back and Cullen wrapped an arm around her.
"When I accepted Cassandra's request to be the Commander of the Inquisition, I never thought I'd find someone I'd care for so much. When the Temple exploded, I didn't expect to live past the demons. You saved me that day. You kept me from giving into lyrium. I'll forever thank the Maker for putting you in my path," Cullen kissed the top of her head.
"I may have never thought I was the Herald of Andraste, but perhaps your Maker created this path for us," Alethya looked up at him before softly claiming his lips with hers.
When they pulled away, Cullen smiled at her, "I like that thought."
~•~•~•~•~•
They woke with a start when they heard pounding at the door. Cullen groaned as he covered his eyes, trying to hold Alethya closer. Alethya slowly opened her eyes, squinting at the sun coming in through the half-covered window above them. She stirred awake and managed to free herself from Cullen's grip.
She stood and opened the door to see Inquisition soldiers. She tried to ignore her grogginess as she addressed the soldiers, "Yes?"
"We've come to retrieve you and the Commander, your Worship. We're behind schedule."
With a playful smirk, she opened the door wider, "Oh Commander, your troops would like to inform you of your tardiness."
That got Cullen to wake up. He shot up, immediately going to his armor. He cursed under his breath as he did so and listened as Alethya laughed. He'd have to tell the soldiers not to tell a single soul about his delay, or that he slept in, or that he snuck off with the Inquisitor for a night of sleep, even if his dreams disturbed him as they always do.
He pulled his fur mantle over his shoulders and marched out, "Not a single word out of any of you."
The soldiers saluted him as they followed. Alethya smiled as she watched him go, following soon after.
